Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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