Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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