so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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