I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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