There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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