he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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