Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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