Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
