Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
