He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize