i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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