Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize