But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Welp...herpes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
