I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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