I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize