She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
