I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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