I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
