butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
