I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
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Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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