shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
