he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
