dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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