DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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