I'm going to jail i love you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
