Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
