I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My feet surprised me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
