Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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