Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
