wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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