pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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