you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
