I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You made out with two different species that night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize