I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
