Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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