i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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