I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
