He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
