He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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