I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i need some magic done to my vagina
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
