Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
