ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
