how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
