Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
