so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
