Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
