In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
