carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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