Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
