Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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