Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
