Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
there's paper in my vomit.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
