if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
