I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
