You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize