I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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