My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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