My hand turned me down
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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