are you still at the devil's house?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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