I like my sex mixed with concussions.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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