He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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